FWB for 10 years !!!!!LONG but PLEASE READ?

I lost my virginity to this guy when I was 14 (i'm gonna get alot of hate for being that young on here i know) but I can't leave him alone it is really tough. We have had our share of relationships with other people but was always messing around. We both have a child with someone else as well. I don't know if I love or Lust him. We always seemed to act nervous around each other till this day. When i find out about his girls I ask him about them just like he approaches me about other guys in my past (being nosey). He has never in his life disrespected me EVER and I have the same respect for him. We have both gotten jealous in the past but nothing serious. Neither one of us TALKED outside of when we see each other. I guess you can say we were Using each other. But now we are starting to talk on the phone about alot of things and i'm coming to know what makes him laugh angry or whatever. He told me His reason for being ok with our situation was that he never wanted to hurt me by US being together because he was young and into a lot of females that he clearly didn't mind cheating on. He didn't want to do me wrong whic is why we chose keep things on the low while evryone suspected (We know the same people) Everyone knew about US but we portrayed a different picture. We would exchange long stares in public and an occasional hye but that's it. all the while when his gf approach me I state that we are Friends He never approched my bf either but he would cover for me . Now that we are not hiding our feelings toward each other do u think this can blossom into something more. He was very shy around me i believe because he was always the BAD BOY raised without much (ghetto sorry) type and I was raised middle cl. It seemed like my enviroment my mom's house (i used to sneak him in almost every night lol) was a get away to be calm opposed to his always fighting in his neighborhood We are 24 now so idk. He has been through alot lost 2 brothers that were killed which was the only time i saw him cry. Do I love him or lust him ??? We tell each other we do but idk FWB=Friends With Benefits